poetry critical

online poetry workshop



www.frogsex.com
madderhatter

Enough!
 1
ENOUGH ALREADY!!!
 2
Cease and desist!
 3
 
 
The white flag flies
 4
o you, the unseasoned adolescent.
 5
MSN mumblers, congratulations
 6
on you sluggish perseverance,
 7
if at all.
 8
 
 
Hope that your hearing me. . .
 9
Really, 14 whole inches?
 10
About as inspiring as your spelling.
 11
Answer to droned requests
 12
that you’ve spouted off to a million girls before me.
 13
 
 
But I’ve got to wonder . . .
 14
 
 
You really think that
 15
a              s             l
 16
Says one damn thing about me?
 17
About anyone?
 18
Sorry boys,
 19
hold on to your keyboards.
 20
 
 
Knot tied sneakers hang from your lifelines
 21
on the block where I live.
 22
The frat boys pass cringing
 23
at the huddled homeless,
 24
in the slums of Beverly Hills.
 25
 
 
Waving shyly as we scurry past.
 26
I’m far more than you wanted.
 27
A no bullshit bang to bite at your cuticles.
 28
But if only,  Only ONCE
 29
somebody asked for     a
 30
favorite gum drop dash
 31
wildest dream dash
 32
life story,
 33
I’d pass out here,
 34
wake up and drop my virtual undies
 35
for Wonder boy.
 36
 
 
Fourteen whole inches just cant satisfy.
 37
like an imagination.
 38
like a dream.
 39

19 Jun 04

Rated 1 (7.6) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (14): 1, 1, 1, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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Comments:

Holy friggen' crap. That is one sick site.
 — pennylane

ummm i guess i agree with her lol but i never went to the site....and what does the poem have to do with frog sex???? lol
 — bangnblondey

The site is a porn site, and so I exed out of it right away. It's not about frogs, trust me.
 — pennylane

Haha looks like the author of this one has a hobby that's rated a little higher than PG - and she got Pennylane to look at it lol I have a feeling that's what she was aiming for. Learning from pennylane's experience, I'm not going to go to this frogsex site, but the poem's alright. I especially like 15-20, and I know how annoying it is when the first thing people have to say to you is "a/s/l?" Yes that's very annoying lol and like you said it doesn't say a damn thing about anyone. Good job with this.
 — mama

haha and the author left themselves unknown... I find that funny lol post your username, I'm really curious to know who wrote this lol
 — mama

Yes, wise choice to not go to that site, mama. I, however, was not that smart.
 — pennylane

Wow, this is great. It expresses it so poignantly. With such great phrases. "Hold onto your keyboards." I got a kick out of that one.
 — silentscream

I liked this, especially the last stanza. This poem holds a good message and it does it in a funny and appealing away.
 — Rixes

i beleive this is a guy. i beleive his name is david. :) i beleive i could be wrong tho, but i beleive most of the time...not.
 — unknown

ha this is funny nice job
 — unknown

ha this is one of your best ones; u need to get pissed off and write more - the last 10 lines are my favorite, esp. 34 and 35 haha great
 — stilltime

Wow...nice site
 — unknown

I know the subject matter of this poem far too well...
 — Dead

Haha.  Spirit of the internet, personified and struck down.
 — midare

I really like this. I empathise.
 — Lia

meh...
 — unknown

Clever.
 — unknown

damnit. i thought it was actually a link to www.frogsex.com
 — mould_jesus

want a really sick site?

www.steakandcheese.com
 — mould_jesus

haha. very nice. thats all i can say.
 — bear

Writing is a good thing. In certain cases, it's better than sex. In this poem you use some beautiful images - the third-last stanza is really, really good. I'm just not sure about the subject matter. It's clearly something you know and understand, which is good, but I think I could explore it more deeply than saying, 'it's crap when these wankers say a/s/l.' But that's just my opinion -  I only found this poem on my way to the porn site. What do I know?  
 — unknown

rad.

Virgil
 — unknown

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