poetry critical

online poetry workshop

Phuket, Diarrhoea & Gay Bartenders

a Tibetan monk rampage
midst stalls of sweet mango
and sticky pulut rice,
perched behind coconut trees
of a tropical disaster.
i let my shoulders burn
from the sparkling salt water,
that bites into blistering ulcers
of anguish and harrowed laughter.
I am baptized!
-along the congested alleys
of countless persuasive mongers,
i allow myself to get lost
in the chatter and tattle
of business lingo, assorted bargains.
i would rather be overcharged
than haggle in the heat,
that constantly rains sweat
down my charcoaled body.
I am drowning!
-in the searing sands,
sinking into Patong Beach,
as if it were quicksand.
and when i finally pass through
the utmost depths,
i find myself at the bottom
of Life’s expiring hourglass.

20 Jun 04

Rated 7 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (2): 7, 7, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(21 more poems by this author)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


I think line 16, you mean "I'd"

l21, why "into"?

l8 & 9 are kind of bland language compared to the rest of the poem
 — Ananke

i like the exclaimations.
nice poem.
 — shakeit

woops, thanks for the comments. thanks ananke. as for L8 & L9, i'll fix it soon enough. thanks.
 — mrkhoo

thanks shakeit too of course. :)
 — mrkhoo

turn the hourglass upside down. Holy Moloch, I think your poems are spellbinding.
 — borntodance

you are a witch?
 — Meep

i really liked the rhythm of this piece. it has a good structure to it.
 — endlesstrain

yahooooooooooooo this rocks solid rocks
 — unknown