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Something is Shifting

It's my twenty second year ,
Twenty two leavings, and the same optimistic returns.
Never get used to the abandonment , the emptiness , the
" I am alone"
I will never survive this time, but I do, life kicks in.
The life I've made,  however absurd  it may be at times.
It feels different or am I just having a good day, a reaction ?
Trying to make you admire me, feel affection towards me ?
My arms are starting to take shape , can feel muscle here and there
My stomach feels taught, but no sign of muscle.
Something is shifting,  I sense a few soft feeling.
Real, not  manipulative, not pretend, they feel above all that.
I may stop kicking out , stop the hate, take deep breaths, smile even.

15 Dec 15

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