poetry critical

online poetry workshop



siddhartha binary lost
unknown

~ for jennakajoffer~

ever closer to an american god
 1
i turned with a beginning to you, merged with
 2
a jihadi slowly enveloping me, a desert
 3
around the perimeter of this listless
 4
sea
 5
 
 
freud sitting on my knee, his finger in my mouth
 6
as i whispered sweet shimmerings
 7
everythings, into his ear. there is nothing i cannot give you
 8
that will take me away
 9
that will take me away from
 10
 
 
a lonely child that played
 11
with what the sun gave me,
 12
at noon my alter ego growing and gnawing
 13
at my framework, my white nectar
 14
and at the harvest, a monster was born
 15
 
 
slashing the breasts of women
 16
nuns and whores alike
 17
a flower of a man, a priest, a scholar
 18
a miserable cunting pimping turning poet
 19
 
 
a painter of acrylic
 20
and demographic pornographic
 21
stillness, i want to taste your listlessness
 22
your blackend scab, sore from the wars
 23
of a thousand generals and armies, bloated on your
 24
lips
 25
drifting on the paint
 26
that covers the scars of christ, the virgin fluid
 27
 
 
of mary, gaping;
 28
 
 
for her american fucking god.
 29

1 Feb 16

Rated 10 (9.3) by 1 users.
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Comments:

Damn nice!!!
 — unknown

This reminds me of something from years ago, not a poem but a story that was never written. Then again maybe it's about bird or Germany, but who's the amerikan, that's a mystery :)
I'll have to comeback to this later, for now, very happy to see you writing and flattered for the dedication. Thank you :)
 — jenakajoffer

Some lovely turns here. A little obscene for me, but it's not for me, is it!
 — Known

This listless is a tongue twister for me. Maybe 'a listless'

11 and 12 are a lovely vision,
Line 15, sad
23, sore from war?

A highly moving, gut wrenching piece.
 — jenakajoffer

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