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I Just Want to Play

I feel …...... I …..... feel          
like kicking stones down a dirt road
on a sunny summer morning
but I know I'd fall down trying.
I want to run through rain and leap
over stonewalls,
but my knees no longer work well.
The sky is so clear this afternoon
like it's skin has been peeled back
to reveal a sharper hue of blue,
like my dear mother's eyes were.
to be …..... this …..... old.

4 Mar 16

Rated 10 (9.7) by 3 users.
Active (3): 10, 10
Inactive (2): 8, 9, 10

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nice poem, paul.

i wonder if you'd consider a linear approach to this,
like it's kind of confessional, maybe thinning it out streamline.  or not.

I feel like
kicking stones down
a dirt road
on a sunny morning
I tried

to run in the rain
leap over, stone-
walled, my knees
no longer--

hey, sort of wondering how blue works as sharp, unless you meant cold, stern.  also, the bit about mother's eyes seems a bit misplaced here. maybe the sharper blue could be sharper than a shattered fibula, something that relates more to getting old?

just thoughts, glad to see you sharing and posting.  the more the merrier these days :)
 — jenakajoffer

Jen; that's why "were" follows mother--she's been dead for twenty three years.
 — PaulS

reminds me of the beginning of the movie "Platoon" in a way.

"rejoice, o young man, in thy youth"

nicely rendered.
 — JKWeb

Good read. Thanks
 — sixtywatt

How you got "platoon" out of this is a bit baffling JK, but thanks for reading.
 — PaulS

thank you, sixtywatt.
 — PaulS

hello Paul,
just to clarify, I meant that at the beginning of the film, there's a screenshot of a quote (from Ecclesiastes) which is congruent with your poem.
 — JKWeb

Gotcha JK,  going to have to watch that movie again.  Thanks.
 — PaulS

Small edit L 11, thanks Jen.
 — PaulS

This is great...you got me in one. How age takes so many things away from us but you have to keep on keeping on doing the best you can

Larry on and on and on and on Lark
 — larrylark

Well said Mr. on and on Lark.  Thank you for reading.
 — PaulS

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