poetry critical

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i write better when there's water bubbling in my eyes
ARedLetter

i wanted to hear your voice before
 1
the brush burned down but
 2
the rain washed everything away and
 3
now i'm left with a heap of aching bones and
 4
scratches on my skin where you never touched
 5

6 Mar 16


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(152 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

I like 4-5 a lot. Maybe introduce before L3 the idea of a controlled/uncontrolled fire, like the Parks department does.  
 — sixtywatt

I also really like 4 &5
 — dberlinn

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