poetry critical

online poetry workshop



you turned me into jeffrey dahmer
unknown

trisyllabic
 1
non linear.
 2
each third
 3
unto itself.
 4
 
 
fully exposed
 5
or always partly on show
 6
regardless of
 7
intents.
 8
 
 
often fractured.
 9
trespassed.
 10
vulnerable.
 11
 
 
but tonight
 12
my tongue is curled
 13
in honor of your
 14
design.
 15
i confess i'm no longer
 16
vegetarian.
 17
 
 
you're my marrow,
 18
areola substitute,
 19
mobius mind fuck.
 20
 
 
floating monarchs
 21
leading the march
 22
of a regiment
 23
of ribs.
 24



~   ~
clavicles

3 Jul 16

Rated 7 (7.7) by 2 users.
Active (2): 4, 10, 10
Inactive (3): 4, 9

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Comments:

Nice
 — unknown

holy fuck
 — dvdsxr

fug hole
 — unknown

chomp chomp
 — unknown

did we now...
 — unknown

Absolute MASTERpiece.  Sad 2 have 2 reference a psycho like Dahmer, but I see where you're going with this and it all makes perfect sense.  You use some pretty "delicious" lanaguage here TOO, I might add.  :-)
 — starr

One final suggestion:  Maybe "vegan" in L17 instead of "vegetarian?"  :-)
 — starr

hip bone is connected to the
 — unknown

yummy
 — unknown

spam

hungry

jd
 — unknown

yumbum
 — unknown

buffet butt
 — unknown

This is wnderful poem, and it's always nice to see famous Milwaukeeans celebrated. Smile face
 — dannyprice

spamelot
 — unknown

spam
 — unknown

Rename poem so spammer can't find it
 — unknown

Ok gd idea
 — unknown

fabulous
 — unknown

spam cant win xxx
 — unknown

~
 — unknown

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