poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Ophthalmic emergency
unknown

Am I beautiful
 1
you asked yourself.
 2
And when the response
 3
was not instantly
 4
sincere you whored
 5
your selfies on facebook.
 6
 
 
Gorgeous lips
 7
and bone structure.
 8
 
 
Wanna date you.
 9
 
 
So hot.
 10
 
 
They screamed.
 11
 
 
Automated algorithm review
 12
noted sclera highly suggestive
 13
of neoplasm.
 14






retina display

find the cancer in you and radiate it
everywhere

4 Jul 16

Rated 9.5 (7.7) by 2 users.
Active (2): 9, 10
Inactive (1): 4

(define the words in this poem)



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Comments:

this is cute, as my mother would say, me wanting to sink into the ground. but, it's true, it's only cute, a poodle bark.

the thing is, what is is supposed to do to the reader...? make the reader go, snark, snark, whoa bro? make the reader want to write anything more than an straight-emo burp back at'cha?

am i sensitive,
you asked yourself --
and, when the response i gave
was cold you whored back
a donald trump
and told me to die.

you got great handwriting
on the screen,
great spell check.

wanna read you,

so brilliant,
they joked

love the way
you write like dorothy parker
from the 30's
but without genius.
reminds me of my mother.
 — cadmium

what's wrong with your granddad? why bitter?
is this really how you treat women?
 — unknown

Fyou
 — unknown

why bitter with selfies on facebook? it's not anyone's fault if one cannot sustain display of faces.
sorry if posts offend you, if not enough beauty is worth, if at all.
 — unknown

wtrash meets the internet
 — cadmium

Re ip
 — unknown

sad
 — unknown

(0) (0)
 — unknown

Riveting performance
 — unknown

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