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Getting It Right for Once
dannyprice

a majority of the details
 1
he worked out days before
 2
 
 
the time
 3
the room
 4
the chair he would be sitting in
 5
 
 
it was his favorite chair
 6
a baby blue sofa chair he stumbled upon
 7
sitting in front of a duplex down the street
 8
years ago
 9
 
 
he didn't drive
 10
so when he found it
 11
he called a cab service to transport it
 12
the five blocks back to his apartment
 13
 
 
he fondly remembered having sex
 14
with all of his last three girlfriends
 15
in that chair
 16
 
 
good memories
 17
until he kept thinking about them
 18
 
 
picking a song proved more difficult
 19
 
 
the first one that came to his head was
 20
Love Will Tear Us Apart
 21
by Joy Division
 22
 
 
he actually laughed
 23
at how cliché that would be
 24
and decided he was going to have to do
 25
a great deal more thinking
 26
 
 
he couldn't pick any song that correlated
 27
with any of those past relationships
 28
or any particular person
 29
or event
 30
 
 
this wasn't "a fucking statement"
 31
 
 
he finally decided on
 32
We Have All The Time In The World
 33
by Louis Armstrong
 34
 
 
it seemed a bit ironic
 35
which is not what he was going for
 36
but ultimately
 37
it was a beautiful song
 38
 
 
the perfect song
 39
 
 
then
 40
came the hardest part
 41
 
 
the glass
 42
 
 
looking in his cupboards
 43
he was embarrassed to realize
 44
he had mostly plastic cups
 45
 
 
what actual glassware he did have
 46
were pints with brewery logos on them
 47
 
 
just more evidence that
 48
he really didn't have his shit together
 49
 
 
he made a last minute run
 50
to the Target a quarter-mile away
 51
and there he found the right glass
 52
 
 
a short
 53
clear
 54
rocks glass
 55
 
 
classy
 56
 
 
after returning home from Target
 57
he ordered his favorite pizza delivery
 58
smoked a cigarette
 59
and listened to
 60
npr
 61
 
 
the pizza came
 62
he tipped the driver a twenty
 63
ate just enough slices to feel full
 64
and put the rest in the fridge for...
 65
 
 
for whoever
 66
 
 
he poured a bottle of still water
 67
into his perfect glass
 68
put in the Louis Armstrong cd
 69
and pressed the Repeat 1 button
 70
 
 
he sat down in his baby blue sofa chair
 71
and felt relieved
 72
 
 
like he was doing the right thing
 73

6 Sep 16

Rated 10 (8.7) by 1 users.
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Comments:

Brought me to a state, but I feel incomplete, like I'm still waiting for something else, but maybe that is the point.
 — kripto

Actually, that's about right, kripto. I was trying to write something showcasing what's not said.
 — dannyprice

I like it. I think it showcases what's not being said, in effect, "not being said". It could have been read one of two ways...or two outcomes. But I think its positive.

Where was the chair though? Why was it being transported? Its unclear to me...Was it still outside the duplex?
 — PollyReg

Thanks for reading, Polly. The chair was in "the room", in his apartment.
 — dannyprice

okay, well in that case i think 9-11 may be superfluous. the time lapse is iffy for me.

i took it to read that he found the chair...had sex with girlfriends in the chair (possibly in front of the duplex...but i took it as missing information, due to the fact that not many people have open air sex in front of duplexes, and thought maybe the chair was at his parents place or a previous dwelling) and the this current day of the 'occurence' or lack there of...he was bringing the chair to his apartment in a cab.

i don't know if i am the only one to read it like this..

:-)
 — PollyReg

I made some revisions to those stanzas, hopefully making it less convoluted.
 — dannyprice

it reads timeline correct to my ears (lol, eyes) now.

to tighten it further you could this:

it was his favorite chair
a baby blue sofa he found
in front of a duplex years ago.

he'd called a cab to transport it
the five bocks back to his apartment

(non driving is inferred, thus)

tho, there's something about the past perfect tense (i think that is what it is) being 'irregular'  in poetic contructs...or, at least, poor form, and that is probably why you avoided using it.

cheers for letting me fiddle with it...it was okay how it was too. i was just having a mystery and had to ask. but, unfortunately, curiosity done killed that cat gone snooze.

:-)
 — PollyReg

I don' t know, at first I didn't like it, then I read it again....and I liked it. then I started trying to figure out what it really means, which I hate doing. So I read it again. Damn you!!! And then I read it again. And finally I decided it didn't matter to me what it meant, I mean I liked that the guy finally felt like he was doing something good. And overall, I liked it. I like his reflection. So....good job.
 — Jaco

Thanks, jaco. I sincerely felt the same way about it. And, Polly, I agree with you're revisions,  and will make those changes here shortly.
 — dannyprice

*your
 — dannyprice

no worries, dan :-)
 — PollyReg

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