here's that shovel you left in the pit of my stomach
|
mandolyn
| this bridge of reading you, writing you | 1 |
i cross it too fast | 2 |
and my eyes lay down at the end | 3 |
on the private beach | 4 |
you send me to | 5 |
| |
quiet as a casket | 6 |
lowered into the lungs of the earth | 7 |
| |
where it sings duets with dirt | 8 |
to the decaying punctuation | 9 |
you speared | 10 |
in the very last line– | 11 |
| |
hoping i'd run backwards | 12 |
to build a wall | 13 |
around the beginning | 14 |
| |
| |
how you start a silent war with me | 15 |
landlord of my heart | 16 |
| |
i pay you late | 17 |
because i hoard your haunting | 18 |
and staple aspirin | 19 |
to the back of every smile | 20 |
stamped 'overdue' | 21 |
| |
but you aren't alive– | 22 |
you aren't applying salve | 23 |
to anything that hurts | 24 |
| |
there's no damp cloth | 25 |
on my distress | 26 |
| |
| |
i order your words | 27 |
first thing in the morning | 28 |
because it moves your reflection | 29 |
from a dream | 30 |
to my kitchen table | 31 |
| |
nuking my yawn | 32 |
with hysteria | 33 |
| |
how can i stand in front of your verse | 34 |
and not undress? | 35 |
demand my freckles to attack | 36 |
and spread out | 37 |
| |
so you'd finish me, | 38 |
maybe stab the sun for old times sake | 39 |
avenge my skin | 40 |
and sign off on every Summer | 41 |
that wasn't in the script | 42 |
| |
| |
what story do i tell myself now? | 43 |
| |
it's like razor burn | 44 |
going over the same prickly past | 45 |
rubbing lotion on the loss | 46 |
| |
we kept ourselves apart, | 47 |
though the knees of our context | 48 |
kept touching | 49 |
| |
| |
your guitar puffs out its chest | 50 |
when i demand your music | 51 |
move to an urn | 52 |
| |
your Tarzan titles | 53 |
pounding my tongue | 54 |
as i repeat them in the wrong direction | 55 |
| |
screaming at a serpent | 56 |
'don't circle back!' | 57 |
my voice bludgeoned | 58 |
and crawling | 59 |
| |
| |
you want to test me, | 60 |
setting traps for each step i take | 61 |
to grab my mental machete | 62 |
| |
walk right up to misery | 63 |
and ask for a loan, | 64 |
remind it how your credit hung | 65 |
draining moonlight | 66 |
from our future | 67 |
| |
| |
i buried you! | 68 |
i buried you in paper! | 69 |
i buried you in every font! | 70 |
| |
the scalpel of your voice | 71 |
stopped treating me | 72 |
and i needed those scars, | 73 |
i needed to reopen the vein of losing you | 74 |
| |
of never having you | 75 |
| |
all over again, | 76 |
as a reminder i am blank | 77 |
without your blood moving | 78 |
| |
how cold you come | 79 |
now that my eyes carry coffins | 80 |
everywhere i go | 81 |
| 15 Sep 16 |
Rated 10 (10) by 3 users.
Active (3): 10, 10 Inactive (8): 8, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10 (define the words in this poem)
(213 more poems by this author)
(3 users consider this poem a favorite)
|
Add A Comment:
|
Comments:
you portray sorrow very well.
i only have one nit. in the first stanza, L4. on to of. if it must be on, i think you should change the following line 'send' to 'sent'
i don't think the grammar is 'wrong, exactly'...i just think it would sit tidier with the small change.
i really like upside-downy 63 - 67 — unknown
:) — ARedLetter
nicely rendered for the most part. though I'm thinking you could shave a few kibbles and bits here and there. such as:
"it" in 2
and
"with me" in 15.
otherwise,
quite groovy. — JKWeb
oh my. words fail me right now. I am overcome with emotion. this piece freezes my heart still — dvdsxr
*Mwah — unknown
10 As always ;) — Odin
6-14 is absolutely incredible. Could be a poem on its own. I think this is a little long for my taste, with some careful surgery it could be a little more precise. But that would be hard to do without ruining what's really important here: the raw emotion and perfectly realized images.
Great work. — mould_jesus
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