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Why niggers use tanning booths sometimes
Haxxen

I have dove deep over corals
 1
under oceans blue
 2
And have walked among faces that would have murdered you
 3
 
 
I have stayed in green spaces
 4
Met strangers in mud
 5
 
 
I have drank from cups, many,
 6
that carried myriads of blood.
 7
 
 
But I have never been sick
 8
And have seldom been proud
 9
Under this pale dark human shroud.
 10
 
 
I only want
 11
To be
 12
Darker.
 13

1 Oct 16

Rated 7 (8.2) by 3 users.
Active (3): 10, 10
Inactive (4): 1, 3, 9, 9, 10

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(43 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

This is very risky due to the usage of the "N" word, Haxxen.  Depending upon how others receive it, it may/may not have to be suspended.  No action need be taken at this time however.  Thank you.  j
 — plath

Thanks plath. Do as you will.
 — Haxxen

"Woman is the nigger of the world" - John Lennon


"Jimi Hendrix was a nigger.
Jesus Christ and Grandma, too.
Jackson Pollock was a nigger.
Nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger,
nigger, nigger, nigger." - Patti Smith


Okay, now I have that out of my system, I am pretty sure that 'diven' is not a word. Provocative poem, otherwise. 9
 — PollyReg

Thanks poll.  I struggled with dive too. Originally wrote dove, but it just wasn't working so I took poetic licence. Still not sure it work's either. Thanks for confirming my doubt. Will look at reworking that line.
 — Haxxen

A familiar dude downtown the other day threw his arm around me and asked how his "fav'rite NIGGA" was doin'!  LOL!  Guess I'm a favored NIGGA!  LOL!  I never liked the word with the "er" or the "a," but it's only a word and I guess it just depends on who's callin' who IT.  It's only a word.  Plath's too COOL!  As 4 the writing... v

L1 - Have dived?  Diven isn't a word.  Nice try tho.  Even I'M confused on what the past participle is!  LOL!  Fuckin' English LANGUAGE from HELL!  :-O

L5 - STELLAR!!!  God, I LOVE this line!!!!

L10 - If u drop "dark," you wouldn't lose anything cuz you're got it in L13 ANYWAY and it's got serious POWAH!  OR u could even drop "darker" and go 4 "blackness" or "I only want to be in a blackout."  <  What do u think about that???  Curious.  I kinda like it and it plays against the whole "nigger" thing u got goin' on up there.  Make that last line KICK U in da GRILLPIECE!  Peaceout.  <3

L6 - Have DRUNK.  This one I know 4 SURE.  
 — starr

LOL!  I'm stoned, so I fucked up the numerical order up there, DAMMIT!!!!  Nite, Haxx!  Didn't know this was YOUR poem!  Now I dig it even MORE!  :-) <3
 — starr

Always a pleasure 2 c u starr
 — Haxxen

Tense, tense...really!?&*
Do better
 — unknown

Always good 2cu2, Haxx!  :-) <3
 — starr

fucking beautiful. God damn
 — dvdsxr

So... You've seen the ocean blue, and want to be a different hue?  Huh... the ocean is the weight of humanity, strangers are dissident fools, and you gain strength form your strength in difference.  But, I believe that somewhere in you is a will to be accepted - It's why the poem fades, It's why we love you.  
 — percocet

^ who are you? You scare me a little.
 — Haxxen

pretty cool poem, and funny how i chose to read this one, considering.

line 1 isn't the best but I don't have anything better to suggest, so I accept it.
the rhyme and word choices are awesome.
 — jenakajoffer

maybe 'places' for 'spaces', since the 's' sound is weak and you need a strong stanza after the first one -- the first one wakes us up and makes us pay attention.

'met strangers in mud' seems strong but it doesn't hold past the first imagation in my mind. it's static. but, something like, 'ate with strangers' wouldn't be too bad. it's not as contrasty-surreal, but it does keep the poem inside the poet. you'd lose mud/cup, but the cup/blood makes that moot.

stanza four doesn't really work on more than an information level. showing how you're a poet 'cause you can rhyme. like, analyzing it down poetic-like,

never been sick,
never proud,
my pale black human shroud

kind of shows that it's only a transition stanza and not the meat of the poem at all. you need a penultimate strong stanza right here, but it doesn't have to be a sermon-significant obituary for lost innocence. the last stanza carries that thought and buries it very well.
 — cadmium

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