poetry critical

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I need some alcohol in my system like NOW!
unknown

I'm a cast away
 1
of my own lust
 2
for liquid vixen.
 3
For I'm lingering
 4
in a shitty apartment
 5
full of invisible porn
 6
and dust.
 7
 
 
straight shot, just a sip
 8
all at once.
 9
For an hour or two
 10
I may believe it's
 11
better than my depression meds
 12
when I'm done.
 13
 
 
I like to pretend" today
 14
is better than yesterday"
 15
as it is written on my wall.
 16

18 Feb 17

Rated 9.7 (9.7) by 3 users.
Active (3):
Inactive (0): 9, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)



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Comments:

This is tits.

If you ever wanna just grab a beer, talk, I'm 60W
 — unknown

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 — rosevivian

I avoided reading this a few times, thinking it was going to be juvenile. I was so wrong! This is a brilliant poem. Concise, but vivid, and wonderful use of the word. The title does not allude to how clever this piece is, and because of that, the title itself has a visceral cleverness to it. Kudos!
 — dannyprice

I think l13 is a tag a lag. Not needed.

I'm interested in the invisible porn bit. What?

Can a person be so depressed that porn goes invisible?

thanks for the read,
 — PollyReg

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