poetry critical

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poem before i go and do something
DeformedLion

have not made one good decision this year
 1
there are locust where the kings should be
 2
 
 
i could be over by the decembers, a broken yolk  
 3
(you could delete me if you delete this poem)
 4
yellow ooze, some spam crawlin
 5
and the econonominy is fallin
 6
 
 
my
 7
heart
 8
is
 9
un upside down sponge spewing blood at the ceiling fan
 10
nervous about being fired and broke and
 11
having to email the lady with the baby.
 12
 
 
you could be my friend, you decide?
 13
 
 
i am a liar and a gambler- a pretzel needs water you know-
 14
there's a satire i here  i  know      a pretzel needs water.
 15
 
 
to be me
 16
you be me
 17
and be me
 18
 
 
i'll you
 19
for whenever the rain comes
 20
 
 
.
 21

10 Jun 17

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Comments:

soggy prezzzel. nobody knows you, when you're down and out. lez b. frens.
 — cadmium

Andrew will love that comment...

To be clichely Ozzie, "yeah, nah" and "just goes to show"

Love you, Deformed. Love reading you. Only context I can know you in.

Oooooo-ahhhhhh
 — PollyReg

... and the rains come whether we're ready or not -- this poem rains on our umbrella eyes rolling off onto our whether or nought
 — AlchemiA

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