poetry critical

online poetry workshop



It's Okay to be Sad Everyday
dannyprice

clear skies are the feathers
 1
with which the lesser gods
 2
tickle their twats and dicks
 3
 
 
sunshine
 4
is the gleam of a puckered asshole
 5
about to take a big shining shit of insipidness
 6
all over your stupid fucking heart
 7
 
 
any god worth a damn
 8
would be filled with pain
 9
all the time
 10
 
 
filled to the brim with rain
 11
and
 12
He
 13
She
 14
or Thee
 15
would never stop crying
 16
over how empty everything is
 17

5 Jul 17

Rated 10 (10) by 5 users.
Active (5): 4, 10
Inactive (0): 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(237 more poems by this author)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

kind of saying too much. could be more like a poem. talking sentences means killing rhythm. a poem only can exist in rhythm, otherwise it's just an obituary for some brilliant opinion.
 — cadmium

I think it's saying pretty close to a perfect amount. It is very much a poem. While I like rhythm, and welcome it... I do not find it necessary. Besides, I think this contains it anyway.
 — dvdsxr

It's okay to be sad, but do some people 'like' to be sad?  

That's my main question. And the positive and proactive person in me, doesn't like to think that they do.

Also, as the other party in any sort of communicative event, I have found that most people are more in tune with their better self when they are happy and relaxed. Better to be around. Non draining.

It's okay to be sad, sure. but If somebody was sad everyday, I'd probably put my psycho nurse hat on and ask them to see what they could do different to achieve an alternative result.

I'm not going to brush their tears and kiss their little twinkles, because as far as I'm concerned, that is a disservice nobody needs.

Also...

...In some ways, sadness seems to be a badge of honour among poetry writers.

My own writes using this method never seem real to me.

That's prolly a good thing too because if they did I'd likely retrieve them for excuses to dwell and make myself sad.

It's just the cyclic nature of anything. And hell, let's not label ourselves, if we can help it...that's for third party representatives of poetry abuse.

Right. Of course I'm right.

https://youtu.be/SJUhlRoBL8 M
 — PollyReg

of course. for an essay it's fine, but for a poem it doesn't do anything but make the reader this passive grateful receptor of your wisdom. as wisdom, it's fine if it's carved on a rock, but it's not a living poem.

it's not what you say -- because, you probably could go much, much deeper into the problems and realities this text suggests. but, how you say it. you want to get the reader's brain parts to join into a more visual and kinetic aesthetic, so that not only does the reader have an opinion, but knows how become you so that they actually understand how to make this poem and not just slurp it.

'sad' is subjective to the point of banality. what do we have in this except some cliches listed as things we're supposed to be sad about? you don't even seem that sad about them -- they're all just an assortment of boo-hoo's in a candy box.

you want to make really 'sad', show yourself as a loser. really, i mean we all are losers, but to have your characters walk out of your poem and go have fun without you -- that would be sad, if you could word it up realistically.
 — cadmium

I actually don't mind the poem. I think it's good for one of yours, Danny. Sorry I was just having a content rant...It was really just based on 'community' and how labelling people sad or happy or fun or anything can make original thought redundant. You know, especially if you're kind of a private person to begin with.

Unlike moi, heh. Party girl allll the way. Fun as.

Well done. I give you 10.
 — PollyReg

I love the word twat. And I'd so rather tickle myself thinking about how fun that word is than be a higher God.

You boys love talking about taking shits. Never got that. :-/

Sorry if my first comment was quite serious. I won't get a reply so it makes no difference anyway, lol

:-p
 — PollyReg

Oh God, I have something so crude, yet funny, to remark about shits in poems and 'flirting' but I can't and won't do it, I'm too wrapped up in 'behaviour' and being politically correct at the moment. lol.

I'll save it for a poem.

Toilet inspiration forever,
Smile,
 — PollyReg

Thanks, everyone, for the input.
 — dannyprice

Polly, that youtube link doesn't work. Wondering what it is.
 — dannyprice

No they never work. But you can put the link in the address bar if you care to. It's monty python "alwYs look on the bright side of life"

It's funny, appropriate to what you wrote.
 — PollyReg

Haha! I figured it out. Good one!
 — dannyprice

I think you just want to know what my shitting comment was, heh. Trust me, you really don't LOL

Juvenile commentary for a MA+ Audience...

Have a good day, Danny
 — PollyReg

the sentiment is magnificently orchestrated with myth and human predicament -- the last strophe is like licking honey from the razors edge -- this has good bones, and the voice is phlegmatic and pure, however the talky-talk loses the rythmik punch that we deserve...
 — AlchemiA

Thanks, everyone. I personally like this one as a free verse, but I  appreciate the input. This, in my opinion, is a gut poem, and i gotta stick with my gut on this one.
 — dannyprice

you might try reading it outloud to see how it feels as 'gut' physical poetry. also, you might want to get out of asking the reader to like you cause you wrote it. you ought to be over that, if you're a poet and really want to find the form and texture that would make your writing cause the reader to want to write a poem too. anything less... like, thinking you're a genius or whatever... is just kid's stuff.
 — cadmium

cadmium, i will look at this and see what revisions i can offer. I do have to ask, are you thinking this should not be a free verse poem?Do you believe free verse is poetry? I am sincerely curious. I do know that not everyone considers fv to be poetry.
 — dannyprice

i hate the title. i prefer SAD EVERYDAY
 — mr_e

He she and thee. Should have stopped there.

So greater gods ... ?
 — bettalpha

how does the old asshole respond?
 — percocet

It's not okay to be sad.

Take measures.

Attempt to alter the future.

And be smart.
 — percocet

Call a plumber you fucking cunt
 — percocet

It's not okay to be your mom everyday
 — percocet

I will fall back if you tell me how you feel.
 — percocet

Who are U? a sad whore, a friendly Nubian, a member of the kkk?
 — percocet

it's okay to be sad everyday.
 — percocet

jianbin1220
christian louboutin outlet
tory burch outlet online
ugg boots
coach outlet online
michael kors outlet
ugg outlet store
cheap nhl jerseys
kobe 9
mont blanc pens
coach factory outlet
christian louboutin sale
kate spade outlet online
michael kors uk
kate spade outlet online
canada goose coats
montblanc pens
coach outlet online
canada goose outlet
cheap oakley sunglasses
tory burch outlet
cheap ray ban sunglasses
true religion jeans
ralph lauren polo
louboutin shoes
cheap jerseys
michael kors outlet online
true religion outlet
canada goose outlet
canada goose outlet online
prada sunglasses for women
cheap nike shoes
pandora charms
coach outlet clearance
coach outlet online
ralph lauren outlet
coach outlet
coach outlet
uggs outlet
uggs outlet
michael kors outlet online
michael kors outlet clearance
nike roshe
cazal outlet
sport's shoes
ugg boots outlet
canada goose coats
ralph lauren
canada goose outlet
coach outlet
marc jacobs outlet
christian louboutin sale
cartier outlet
michael kors outlet online
mulberry sale
nba jerseys
canada goose jackets
true religion outlet
mulberry handbags
coach factory outlet
kevin durant shoes
longchamp solde
polo ralph lauren
tory burch outlet stores
uggs outlet
canada goose jackets
adidas store
asics shoes
true religion outlet
ugg boots on sale
soccer jerseys
fitflops uk
valentino shoes
ugg outlet
kobe bryant shoes
jordan 4
cazal sunglasses
canada goose jackets
coach factory outlet
prada handbags
ugg boots on sale
canada goose jackets
true religion outlet
canada goose outlet
cheap soccer jerseys
cheap nfl jerseys
nike air max 2015
ferragamo shoes
tory burch outlet stores
links of london
ralph lauren polo
mulberry handbags
cheap uggs
nike roshe run
pandora charms
christian louboutin outlet
nike air huarache
canada goose jackets sale
kobe bryants shoes
ferragamo outlet
michael kors outlet clearance
adidas uk
prada shoes
nike outlet store
moncler coats
canada goose outlet
nike blazer pas cher
longchamp outlet online
fred perry polo shirts
nike air huarache
ugg boots clearance
prada outlet online
michael kors outlet
nike air max 1
true religion jeans
tory burch outlet online
nfl jerseys
moncler outlet
cheap nfl jerseys
Girls shoes
coach outlet online
air max 90
polo ralph lauren
michael kors
michael kors outlet
basketball shoes
nike trainers
cheap oakley sunglasses
coach outlet
ralph lauren outlet
ugg outlet
coach outlet
canada goose outlet store
ugg outlet
tory burch outlet
ugg outlet stores
coach outlet online
pandora charms sale clearance
canada goose jackets outlet
michael kors outlet online
ralph lauren outlet
cheap nhl jerseys
uggs outlet
polo outlet
michael kors outlet
chrome hearts
coach outlet
oakley sunglasses wholesale
coach outlet store online
coach outlet store online
michael kors outlet store
jerseys wholesale
coach outlet
nike air max
moncler outlet
canada goose jackets
coach outlet
kate spade outlet online store
ugg outlet
blackhawks jerseys
puma outlet
pandora charms sale clearance
michael kors factory outlet
true religion jeans
fred perry polo
nfl jerseys
nike shoes uk
canada goose parka
moncler jackets
tory burch outlet online
new balance shoes
cheap ray ban sunglasses
polo ralph lauren outlet
ray ban sunglasses outlet
canada goose outlet store
adidas outlet
coach factory outlet
michael kors outlet online
uggs outlet
swarovski outlet
michael kors outlet clearance
adidas sko
michael kors outlet
canada goose outlet
pandora outlet
oakley sunglasses
longchamp bags
ugg outlet
hermes outlet store
true religion outlet
canada goose outlet
cheap ray ban sunglasses
kate spade outlet online
canada goose outlet
canada goose outlet store
ugg outlet逗号ugg outlet stores
nike outlet
chrome hearts outlet
canada goose outlet online
longchamp solde
new balance outlet
coach outlet store
polo ralph lauren
michael kors outlet online
ralph lauren outlet
lacoste shirts
michael kors handbags
michael kors outlet clearance
moncler jackets
mcm backpacks
coach outlet
ugg boots on sale
coach factory outlet
ysl outlet
oakley sunglasses
cheap ray ban sunglasses
ugg outlet
longchamp outlet
swarovski outlet store
coach outlet online
oakley sunglasses wholesale
polo ralph lauren outlet
nike trainers uk
moncler jackets
giuseppe zanotti shoes
oakley sunglasses wholesale
coach handbags outlet
christian louboutin
pandora outlet
mulberry handbags
michael kors handbags
michael kors outlet
uggs outlet
mont blanc pens
dansko shoes
michael kors outlet online
mulberry bags
uggs outlet
moncler outlet
kate spade outlet store
true religion jeans
christian louboutin shoes
true religion outlet
polo outlet factory store
cheap ray ban sunglasses
true religion jeans
ray ban sunglasses outlet
true religion jeans
polo ralph lauren outlet online
nike factory shoes
coach outlet
ugg boots on sale
polo ralph lauren
ralph lauren outlet
tory burch outlet
football shirts
ugg outlet
cheap jordans
coach outlet
tory burch outlet online store
ray ban sunglasses outlet
ray ban sunglasses
mulberry handbags
fitflops uk
uggs outlet
mulberry outlet逗号mulberry handbags outlet
christian louboutin outlet
ralph lauren polo shirts
canada goose
reebok outlet store
cheap oakley sunglasses
moncler outlet
ralph lauren factory store
jordan shoes
canada goose outlet
converse shoes sale
ugg boots
lebron shoes
adidas nmd
coach factory outlet
hermes outlet store
longchamp pliage
lacoste polo shirts
coach outlet
ugg outlet online
michael kors outlet
adidas wings
air max shoes
canada goose outlet store
oakley sunglasses wholesale
christian louboutin outlet
air max 90
coach outlet
oakley sunglasses wholesale
huaraches shoes
coach factory outlet
canada goose jackets
coach outlet
canada goose coats
ralph lauren outlet
kobe 9 elite
michael?kors?handbags
ray ban sunglasses outlet
fitflops sale clearance
yeezy boost
michael kors outlet online
michael kors outlet online
max 90
ugg boots clearance
ugg boots
nfl jerseys wholesale
canada goose outlet
ralph lauren polo
pandora outlet
coach outlet online
ugg outlet
true religion jeans
uggs outletonline
ugg boots clearance
michael kors outlet clearance
polo outlet
oakley sunglasses
michael kors wallets for women
ferragamo outlet
ralph lauren outlet stores
uggs outlet
michael kors outlet
michael kors handbags
coach factory outlet
nike outlet
coach outlet
ray-ban sunglasses
canada goose jackets
ugg outlet
coach outlet
true religion canada
nike free running
birkenstock shoes
michael kors bags
ray ban sunglasses
coach handbags on sale
michael kors handbags
canada goose outlet
cheap oakley sunglasses
mulberry bags
coach outlet clearance
reebok shoes
pandora outlet
polo outlet online
timberland boots
nfl jerseys wholesale
mulberry uk
michael kors outlet
ralph lauren outlet
ferragamo shoes sale
ralph lauren outlet
ralph lauren shirts
cheap ray ban sunglasses
coach outlet online
nike shoes
true religion jeans
polo ralph lauren
coach outlet online
nike roshe run
polo ralph lauren
nike air max 90
coach outlet online
michael kors outlet
ugg boots clearance
canada goose outlet store
coach outlet
canada goose outlet store
longchamp solde
polo ralph lauren
polo ralph lauren
nfl jerseys
valentino outlet
oakley sunglasses
pandora charms outlet
oakley sunglasses sale
ralph lauren
uggs outlet
coach outlet store
lacoste outlet
jordan shoes
canada goose outlet
ugg outlet store
fitflops sale clearance
nike outlet store
ray ban sunglasses
polo outlet
oakley sunglasses
true religion jeans for men
lacoste pas cher
polo ralph lauren
uggs outlet online
nike nba jerseys
oakley sunglasses uk
mulberry bags
uggs outlet
michael kors outlet clearance
cheap oakley sunglasses
oakley sunglasses wholesale
longchamp pas cher
ugg boots
coach outlet
michael kors outlet
soccer shoes
michael kors outlet
ugg outlet
coach outlet
michael kors bags
coach outlet online
michael kors outlet online
cleveland cavaliers jerseys
ray ban sunglasses sale
ugg boots
ugg outlet
canada goose outlet store
oakley sunglasses
tory burch outlet
ugg boots clearance
chicago blackhawks jerseys
nfl jersey wholesale
moncler outlet
canada goose jackets
uggs on clearance
polo ralph lauren
nike shoes for women
canada goose outlet store
mcm outlet
uggs outlet
michael kors factory outlet
swarovski uk
ugg outlet
polo ralph lauren
michael kors outlet clearance
canada goose jackets
michael kors outlet
ugg cyber monday
cheap oakley sunglasses
polo ralph lauren
hermes belt
christian louboutin outlet
ugg outlet
nhl jerseys for sale
polo ralph lauren shirts
ugg outlet online
polo ralph lauren
canada goose uk
adidas nmd
cheap jordans free shipping
nike factory outlet
jordan shoes
lebron james shoes
christian louboutin
moncler coats
coach outlet online
polo outlet
coach outlet
mulberry outlet
coach outlet online
coach outlet store online
canada goose outlet store
longchamp handbags sale
christian louboutin sale
hermes birkin bag
snapbacks wholesale
ralph lauren polo
burberry outlet
ralph lauren polo
michael kors outlet clearance
nba jerseys
pandora outlet
fitflops sale clearance
longchamp handbags
michael kors handbags
tods outlet
polo outlet
ugg boots clearance
ugg outlet
coach handbags
reebok trainers
puma outlet
coach factory store
kate spade outlet
uggs outlet
canada goose outlet
tory burch outlet stores
canada goose outlet store
canada goose outlet online
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet
michael kors handbags
coach outlet
uggs outlet
christian louboutin shoes
ralph lauren uk
canada goose outlet
oakley sunglasses
swarovski jewelry
coach outlet online
cheap football shirts
mulberry handbags sale
michael kors outlet
nfl jersey wholesale
jordan shoes
nike shoes
longchamp handbags
ralph lauren outlet
mlb jerseys
pandora charms
nike outlet
ralph lauren polo
canada goose outlet
canada goose outlet
prada outlet
coach factory outlet
cheap ray ban sunglasses
air max 2015
air max uk
uggs outlet
michael kors outlet stores
oakley sunglasses
ray ban sunglasses outlet
mbt shoes
oakley sunglasses wholesale
canada goose
fitflops shoes
ugg boots on sale
pandora jewelry
oakley sunglasses
mulberry handbags
ferragamo outlet
coach factory outlet
canada goose jackets for women
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet
polo ralph lauren shirts
herve leger outlet
canada goose outlet store
pandora outlet
ray bans
salomon outlet
oakley sunglasses
coach factory outlet
kate spade sale
cheap jordans
christian louboutin uk
timberland outlet
ugg outlet
canada goose coats
tory burch sandals
cheap nba jerseys
longchamp outlet store
oakley sunglasses wholesale
cheap michael kors handbags
air max 1
michael kors outlet clearance
michael kors outlet online
oakley sunglasses sale
christian louboutin shoes
coach outlet clearance
longchamp pas cher
prada shoes on sale
ugg outlet store
cheap oakley sunglasses
fitflops
cheap ray ban sunglasses
uggs canada
pandora charms
michael kors outlet clearance
uggs outlet
adidas outlet
ugg boots
polo ralph lauren
coach outlet
nhl jerseys
canada goose outlet store
true religion jeans
fitflops sale clearance
canada goose outlet
air max uk
coach canada
canada goose outlet
michael kors outlet clearance
christian louboutin shoes
christian louboutin outlet
lakers jerseys
vans shoes
moncler outlet online
pandora outlet
canada goose outlet store
coach factory outlet
pandora charms
coach outlet online
kobe shoes
oakley sunglasses
swarovski crystal
uggs outlet
canada goose outlet online
converse shoes sale
kate spade outlet
christian louboutin shoes
mlb jerseys
michael kors outlet clearance
polo ralph lauren shirts
burberry outlet
nike outlet online
christian louboutin sale
lacoste polo
canada goose outlet online
cheap oakley sunglasses
polo outlet
polo ralph lauren outlet
ugg outlet
michael kors outlet
true religion uk
soccer jerseys wholesale
polo ralph lauren
coach handbags online outlet
ray ban sunglasses
canada goose jackets
true religion jeans
true religion outlet
ugg outlet
Recent Best (expand)
    0.342s