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Visit To Melancholia

I don't want
                to speak.
I think
          we are incompatible.
and I want to be
left alone to my state. I want to wither. I want to be forgotten. I want to fade into the black abyss and never see the light
or anyone else's light,
I'm done with engaging the standardly happy;
I want to burst open my hot veins and watch the life of this putrid, wretched vessel drain. Franco
Anz--I want to kill him, I hate his cells, I hate his atoms, I hate his stomach, I hate his hands. I do
not want to be Anz anymore. And I want to rot. I want maggots and worms, and I don't want bones;
I want the nothing, not the teeth, or marrow, only particles of my skeleton dust to be floating in a stench, of flesh
and flies.
           You bore me, seeking to speak, surely, of rainbows and beauty?                
I want to be left my island, and never pick up any evidence of the world or people on my shores
         O let me drench in my darkness, solitude.
         Just for a little while longer, I'll be back, I'll return and emerge to you my little moon
I'll bathe you in my sunlight in just two weeks time,
                                                           ­               I''ll be back, I''ll return, but
for now--I am depression's favorite appointment, faithful husband to the fatigue,
the crippling sadness, and the prisons of shame, guilt, and interpersonal destruction
this season in my mind will be building for me!
                                                             ­      But remember,
                                                       ­                                   I'm only visiting.

14 Jul 17

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If you don't want to speak than shut the fuck up.
 — percocet

I will drop the a-bomb dick that you are looking for.
 — percocet

What are you talking about lol. Weirdo.
 — unknown

just for tightening up the concept part, what 'state' are you living in? 'nevada'?

you've got some rhythm in this, but it's in isolated phrases. i think you're hearing your voice in your head making these meaningful pauses -- like, 'i want to wither'; 'i want to be forgotten'. but it comes off sounding like a logical list: i want to wither+ 'i want to be forgotten', when the two could maybe with punctuation combine to make the reader take the pauses:

i want to wither; be forgotten -- to fade into the black abyss; never see the light
or anyone
 — cadmium

@Cadmium, thank you for getting it.
 — unknown

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