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No Fucking Poem!

i am not going to write a poem
even if i did
i would still be a 37 year old waiter
i would still be a failed musician
i would still be a little worried
about next month's rent
a poem will only fool me into thinking
i am interesting
a poem will only foster the false narrative
that there is purpose
in my suffering
i'm not gonna do it
i'm gonna bicycle home
the long way
listening to something really unpretentious
like Motley Crue
or Twisted Sister
no fucking Leonard Cohen
no fucking Nina Simone
no fucking Lana Del Rey
and when i get home
i'm gonna watch something dumb
like Family Guy
no fucking documentaries
or Oscar contenders
distract the brain cells i'm not killing
eat cookies
and drink 2
or 3
Diet Dr. Peppers
and if somewhere in the night
i have a good idea for a simile
i'll just step on it
like a bug
and if there's a knock at my apartment door
and i open it to find a brilliant metaphor standing there
i will grab my dullest knife from the kitchen
and cut its throat
whatever i do
i will not be creative
even a haiku
with the utmost certainty
i can make this guarantee
that for a second
or for a minute
or any amount of time
i will not write poetry
of any meter
or rhyme

8 Aug 17

Rated 10 (10) by 2 users.
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sounds like your idea of poetry is that it has to be gushy, so's maybe you should get drunk and puke and out of that gush write why the fuck you exist and mean it. i mean, we none of us don't write poetry because we want to.
 — cadmium

nice "not" poem danny :)
i would delete everything after line 43.. i think thats the best bit in the poem and the rest is kinda clingy..
 — mr_e

Excellent fun stuff. I wouldn't agree with missed er e?
 — unknown

Thanks, cad, mr_e, and unk. All input is valued.
 — dannyprice