poetry critical

online poetry workshop



is this poetry?
dvdsxr

from which quantum system you woke you cannot know,
 1
your consciousness balkanized
 2
along the fault line of dreams within dreams,
 3
for no super intelligence are you,
 4
however aware that the fabric of reality
 5
is merely constructed only upon observation and certainty.
 6
 
 
that you are here is all that matters when
 7
the reimagined past is projected
 8
in ultra high definition spatial waterfalls to drown in.
 9
 
 
the helix of time and it's partner dimensions
 10
are broadcasted as invented heavens crossing event horizons.
 11
 
 
there is no end and there was no beginning
 12
to the infinity of nothing
 13
where everything burst forth only once,
 14
to pacify existence.
 15
 
 
to harvest information from the essence of this epochs precipice  
 16
is all our phantoms can fathom
 17
at the crux of the chasm.
 18
 
 
swooning over existential tension
 19
and pining for spirits where there are none
 20
creates mazes you cannot escape
 21
because you are only in a cosmic spell
 22
and there is no such thing
 23
as fate or destiny or hell.
 24
 
 
you are a pioneer of the cosmos
 25
made to breathe and
 26
question and fight
 27
and fuck and dance and
 28
muse on the mother of eternity,
 29
slowing to make figure eights which
 30
loop your mind back to the genesis of ruin.
 31
 
 
you are the magnum opus
 32
of a simulated prodigy mirage,
 33
spinning on the spectrum of possibility
 34
and tortured madness.
 35
 
 
give in to the reverie you lust for,
 36
the foaming mouth of dissonance
 37
who will chew the fat of your discourse
 38
and listen to your virtual pipe dream angst.
 39
 
 
swallow the truth whole and
 40
purge the blue pill illusion of intellectual honesty-
 41
you are here and here is now and now will end if you let it,
 42
but it has a purpose and it is you-
 43
 
 
and you are everything at once.
 44
a jewel, a crown, a queen,
 45
a goddess who will never be known and only observed
 46
 
 
from afar.
 47

25 Sep 17

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Comments:

no, it's prose too vapid to have paragraphs and needs the quaint victorian line-breaks to make it look like a little garden of petunias with baby ducks.
 — cadmium

oh fuck off. it is poetry and the title is rhetorical.
 — dvdsxr

it's not poetry. poetry has a spine. this is typing on a jelly keyboard. who told you this could be poetry? your mommy? is it on her fridge with little heart magnets?
 — cadmium

if anything is a poem then nothing is a poem. but, this is a paragraph broken into victorian linebreaks. all you'd need to do is put some crappy rhyme-scheme on the line end and it'd look like longfellow.

THE WORDS AREN'T FRIENDLY TO EACH OTHER. they're not even interested enough in each other to hate each other. they're just waiting for the music to start so they can do some trailer-trash line-dance.
 — cadmium

haha, Mike, you're a funny fucker

you in particular I had, for years, sought to impress somehow with my writing... but I finally gave up when I realized two things:

1- it really doesn't matter what anyone thinks of my writing, because I'm ultimately doing it for myself. I am the master of my mind and I write things for the catharsis it is.

b- you are an elitist troll who appears to find joy in belittling others. you're an asshole.

now as to whether or not it is poetry, that is actually subjective. literally.

I don't give a shit if people like it or hate it, I'm not looking for validation... I'm only looking to share what comes out of me and read what comes from others. that's why I use this site.

now, if you would kindly fuck off, please, fuck off.
 — dvdsxr

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