poetry critical

online poetry workshop

Hermit and the Moon

I must’ve seen you somewhere
in the light.
There I could have touched you;
I could have found my hermit
and the moon,
could’ve touched your wound—
could’ve stuck my finger in it
I am not free in this kind of world.
I am a numbness, a bitter cold.
I will be by your side
       I swear.
            And I’m sorry.
              this sorrow
                Is eating me alive.

13 Jan 18

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (0): 10

(define the words in this poem)
(12 more poems by this author)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


I can see the word I a lot. some phrasing like 'in the light', 'bitter cold' bit normative, bit redundant, bit meh- you know?

I swear- i guess that's something people say. i like line 7, not a fan of the moon but i guess it allows wound to be all springy there.

what sorrow really. like what the fuck are you all so sad for? cheer up darlin

 — DeformedLion

I can’t do anything with this poem, DL. Feel free to workshop it if you want, literally. :)
 — sylvia

Recent Best (expand)