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Hermit and the Moon
sylvia

I must’ve seen you somewhere
 1
in the light.
 2
There I could have touched you;
 3
I could have found my hermit
 4
and the moon,
 5
could’ve touched your wound—
 6
could’ve stuck my finger in it
 7
 
 
I am not free in this kind of world.
 8
I am a numbness, a bitter cold.
 9
 
 
I will be by your side
 10
       I swear.
 11
 
 
            And I’m sorry.
 12
              this sorrow
 13
                Is eating me alive.
 14

13 Jan 18

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Comments:

I can see the word I a lot. some phrasing like 'in the light', 'bitter cold' bit normative, bit redundant, bit meh- you know?

I swear- i guess that's something people say. i like line 7, not a fan of the moon but i guess it allows wound to be all springy there.

what sorrow really. like what the fuck are you all so sad for? cheer up darlin

'
 — DeformedLion

I can’t do anything with this poem, DL. Feel free to workshop it if you want, literally. :)
 — sylvia

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