poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Sia the Unregistered Goldfish
unknown

Empty chair backs,
 1
 
 
wafting smoke
 2
from old-time fields
 3
burning and pulsing
 4
in drought-like conditions
 5
 
 
a coil trembles like a springtime leaf
 6
 
 
--onslaught of cloud,
 7
the skies are objectively weeping
 8
from steely eyes
 9
 
 
the table legs are offset
 10
like tines, or a mirage
 11
welcoming the
 12
 
 
tendril
 13
of cancer smoke
 14

19 Jan 18

Rated 9 (9) by 1 users.
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Comments:

this is a pretty taught poem. The last line can be construed as off-putting, unless that's really the direction you were going for. Cheers
 — unknown

Two words i can't bring myself to put in any poem are gossomer and tendril. I like the sparse imagery here.
 — larrylark

О себе: фильмы 2017 смотреть хорошем качестве бесплатно новинки
 — unknown

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