poetry critical

online poetry workshop



On the Way to TK Maxxx
Bruiser

This horny feathered fucker at my feet
 1
doesn't flinch at my half-hearted kick,
 2
he just keeps struttin and puffin
 3
up a neck that glitters iridescent
 4
greeny-purples in the sun;
 5
and she finally submits to this stalking,
 6
throaty cooing fiend, who climbs aboard
 7
her in front of an audience of Saturday
 8
shoppers, flattening her beneath his weight.
 9
She grips the bubble gum splattered
 10
pavement as if it's a duvet, and a few
 11
wing flaps later; bingo!
 12
 
 
Jeez, the romance of it.
 13
 
 
Some pisshead propped up
 14
next to the cash machine actually claps,
 15
his Jack Russell wrapped in a blanket,
 16
wears a Union Jack neckerchief
 17
and a cheeky grin; when everyone looks
 18
their way the guy clicks his fingers
 19
and the dog jumps up out of the blanket
 20
and dances on its hind legs, begging.
 21
 
 
Talk about opportunism.
 22
 
 
I get up from the stone bench,
 23
stoop, and spin my Red Bull's ring pull
 24
in amongst the few coppers
 25
that lie in the scruffy beanie
 26
at his feet, it gleams, "bit of silver pal" I say.
 27
"cheers" he slurs.
 28
I give him the thumbs up and stride on.
 29

28 Apr 18

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Comments:

this is weird, funky, and cool.  nice one.
 — JKWeb

love it. great description, real life funny.
 — unknown

sums it all up i guess. Its a long story but i'm not allowed to shop.

Larry corner shop Lark
 — larrylark

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shenyuhang20180606
 — unknown

haha, love it. you've got style, edge...and i like.  this poems rocks :)
 — jenakajoffer

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yaoxuemei20180712
 — yaoxuemei

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