poetry critical

online poetry workshop



geeks promise
rivergood

You are too pedestrian to marry Meryl Streep
 1
use a razor rather than a shaver
 2
and too cheap it get out of bed for £20.00,
 3
but at least you've got Blackpool
 4
where a cheap vaudeville awaits.
 5

13 Jun 18

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Comments:

nice story
 — unknown

how about leaving 'you' off the ending line?

are you using the euro?
 — jenakajoffer

alterations made. thanks Jena
 — rivergood

imagine if you said 'use a razor rather than a ___ (a one syllable out-of-the-box word would elevate this poem)!  like 'rope' or rat..lol

line 3, and too cheap to get out of bed?
 — jenakajoffer

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