poetry critical

online poetry workshop

how to survive

There will be times
when you will find yourself alone
meditating on the cool curves of the porcelain tub
as if it were your ex wifes thighs
and your developing reflection as it interrogates you
while the soap drains
and what will stall you that day
is not god, a memory of your mother or
pending appointments
but the midnight whine of your cat
you believe today
cannot go on
without you.

find someone, something, more vulnerable, dependent on you.

17 Jun 18

Rated 7.5 (7.5) by 2 users.
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i don't know the meaning of this. i think 'bourdain' is some t.v. personage, but i don't know that. if so, then what i read here is that a 'bourdain' is like some hungry pet, whining, and that our needs are so shallow that we drown in them by falling face down into the little pool of 'make me happy'...?

as writing, this has a nice flow, though the line beat, the pulse of this, is prosaic... it kind of has that add-ed bulk feeling which prose writers have to use to make their sentences sound rational or believable. poetry doesn't need that, because it builds its own time into the poem's own world. if you understand what i'm saying. that prose is an artificial creation to mimic nature, while poetry is an actual event in nature as it's being written. this makes poetry a part of nature, giving to the reader without asking for respect or love -- just giving to the reader something they can want because the poem itself is beautiful. this is verse -- it's heavy enough as verse, but it's not poetry.

i really hope you can read my work and find and show me where i'm making the same prosy moves i think i see in this. that's 'workshop'.
 — cadmium

difficult  poem to judge it is both bitty and bitter quite an accomplishment
 — unknown

Deep af
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porcelain tubs have alot to answer for. A Tupperware would serve just as well
 — unknown

 — unknown

author changed the text of the poem. my comment was on the first version. that's maybe what unknowns do to avoid embarrassment, kind of like teens when someone yells they're homo.
 — cadmium

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me too me ow
 — unknown