poetry critical

online poetry workshop



death of a poet
cadmium

i see burning trees,
 1
or, is it dawn?
 2
everything is like
 3
something else.
 4
 
 
everything is
 5
now,
 6
except his song.
 7
 
 
everything is
 8
forever,
 9
except his voice.
 10

30 Jul 18

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*i like this - seems we are both feeling the fire right now- interesting. i can feel like loss and confusion in this. I know this feeling. is, is it heartbreak - it taste a little like it. how bittersweet. there is something blessed in our ability to feel such immense emotions - even if at the moment it feels you will shatter. fear not though. love never dies. take care, poet.*
 — unknown

thank you. we're both feeling this because of our involvement. but, do you think this is formatted that a stranger might feel the grief? i want it to have gravitas, but i fear that the way people ordinarily read verse will make them just skim through, and they'll think it kind of superficial. this is part of the problem that poetry isn't thinking or talking, that it's wording to seem like thinking or talking.
 — cadmium

Mystifying poem good use of tenses
 — unknown

this isn't middle-school. explain what you mean by 'mystifying'. give an example that will show me what 'mystifying means'.
 — cadmium

lines 1 and 2 are mystifying smoke or dawn
 — unknown

it's about uncertainty. is death real? -- maybe not, but, the loss of donald is real.
 — cadmium

*absolutely. i ache with grief when I read this and i think anybody who reads and says otherwise is dead inside or scared to be vulnerable. this isn't thinking or talking - this is a direct portal into the grieving and immense feelings of loss we all have felt, are feeling or will feel. These are reflections of us. Thanks again for the journey. There really is so much packed in here.*
 — unknown

Unknown is Cadmium because he's the only person interested in his own poetry
 — unknown

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