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a skeleton key, badly tuned
spaces

pain curves tenderly in an
 1
outrageously outward-moving
 2
arc, bowed like those
 3
old bridges I used to build
 4
out of rotting bird cages
 5
and agonizing light.
 6
 
 
I shouldn't do this
 7
and whether the delicate
 8
forsaken balance I dimly
 9
recall extending (tho tenuous)
 10
twixt terrible uncertainty
 11
and the last shred of tawdry
 12
torn tinsel I pretend lives
 13
within my newly withered
 14
chest (where my dignity once
 15
rested or nested),
 16
 
 
like raw humiliating certainty
 17
which circles those fateful,
 18
hatefully awkward wagons
 19
(like a thickly rotten ring of
 20
vague moist maggots
 21
burrowing into what's left
 22
of some hideous corpse's
 23
deadly decaying grin)
 24
 
 
I shouldn't do this -
 25
I shouldn't trace the strange
 26
haunted history of our failures
 27
along the abandoned edges
 28
of me, until what points
 29
of lingering light ive got left
 30
collapse sullenly into one
 31
fitful, faithless star.
 32
or an ugly tarnished noose,
 33
or a fresh bruise -
 34
but these are all just
 35
endlessly unlovely
 36
approximations of a girl.
 37
 
 
I'm too tired.
 38
too deathly cold and
 39
aching all over, like my
 40
fevered body burns in
 41
an idle effigy so murderously
 42
slow and sharp,
 43
(like the
 44
rusted tin edges of a
 45
useless sheriff's star)
 46
I'm too tired to
 47
approximate, to have faith
 48
or dig deep - much too
 49
tired to even try and sublimate
 50
this agony of misapprehensions
 51
into something more worth
 52
my lover's precious,
 53
dim-dark time - more than
 54
this lately vapid vivisection...
 55
nothing more trite than
 56
an alien autopsy performed
 57
on the misshapen,
 58
mangled mess you left
 59
of my (frankly) cursed self.
 60
 
 
lately all my anguish
 61
can't sate you, and even
 62
murdering me bores the
 63
fuck out of you -
 64
so let's take a break
 65
from breaking me.
 66
hopefully in the pregnant
 67
pause buried in between
 68
your life and my obsession,
 69
I might finally get some rest.
 70

1 Nov 18


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