poetry critical

online poetry workshop

weight loss

i no longer have you
all i have is your journal
that i stole
before your
relatives found out.
poems  i reread
until i fall asleep.
words you can't take back
consolation for
no children.  
the pages resemble
your skin
dual toned
filled with finger prints
impenetrable to my
and of course
the spirals
your spine
or DNA
which always seemed
how many volumes
hid within
your cavities.
i will never know
but tonight
this version rests on my chest
in tatters
held shut
0.7 lbs
weighs me down
like your embalmed heart
dead infant.

human heart weighs approx 310 gms
all carry ons must be declared and weighed
all children must be accompanied by an adult
how much does your loss weigh

19 Nov 18

Rated 10 (10) by 4 users.
Active (4): 10, 10, 10
Inactive (0): 9

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this is wonderful. simple in execution and yet lightly heavy.

i do think there might be an extra space in L6. other than that my only nit would be L15, as it seems strange to me to refer to paper or a person as waterproofed (one word, btw) but perhaps there's a specific reason for that word choice; connotations i didn't pickup on, etc...?
 — gem_grrrl

It really is beautiful. I’ve come back to read it several times.
 — unknown

Really well put together with mind sticking imagery.

Larry fat bastard lark
 — larrylark

Pity this is unknown as its so good
 — Rossant

wow... so heavy, literally
 — aforbing