poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Ode to Peanut Butter
Cella

Per request of Isabelle. Not exactly polished, but as good as it's gonna get, considering the whole thing was an unintentional, 3am, spurt of caffiene creativity.

Oh Butter of the Peanut
 1
How I sing thy praises
 2
Your versatility
 3
constantly amazes
 4
 
 
Though most, in blind complacency
 5
pair you with grape jelly
 6
your secret love is scandalous
 7
rendezvous a la' deli
 8
 
 
Your summer fling with maionnaise
 9
left you twitterpated
 10
but the one-night-stand with oscar meyer
 11
was sorely overrated
 12
(not to mention garlic salt
 13
-three days, constipated)
 14
 
 
That "thing" with eggs and bacon
 15
completely fell apart
 16
You deemed honey perfect
 17
until she broke your heart
 18
 
 
But you'll come crawling back to me,
 19
you'll see, someday soon
 20
(and the only way I'll have you
 21
is naked on a spoon)
 22

19 Aug 04

Rated 10 (7.5) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10, 10
Inactive (48): 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 2, 3, 3, 4, 5, 5, 5, 7, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(55 more poems by this author)

(18 users consider this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

thats realy funny and i think it is pretty well writen
 — reet

i love this! It shall be in my favorites! Very funny and very interesting. I really enjoyed this. (9)
 — peanut

love it!
 — unknown

this is really funny.
 — omega

lmao...this is pretty good!
 — WildSymphony

heh, this was enjoyable =)
 — unknown

Oh my goodness. Roflmao. That is too funny. That is great.
 — elysium

Damn. I'm really craving peanut butter right now. And what do you know? It is 3am. And I have no peanut butter.. =(

Thanks a lot!
 — elysium

Yum, yum.  Naked with a spoon - naked spooning.  Hmmm...sticks to the roof of your tongue as you read.  Delicious!!!  Creamy, no doubt
 — unknown

naked on a spoon. Oh, so wonderful. lol
 — pennylane

love those last lines :) makes me smile. i was jus eating peanut butter an jellly when i saw you on the "recent best" list. i sooo love it. (9)
 — stainedsteal

HAHA this is classic, oh man you should sell this to Skippy or something. Not only is it hilarious but it's actually amazingly written. When I read the title and the forward I was expecting this to be funny but terribly written since its...peanut butter haha. But geez its actually great. I can't think of a thing to improve even. I love lines 8 and the last 2 best. ::two thumbs way up::
 — unknown

Yes..... all that and more.  However, should it really be #1 on the "YEARLY Top 10".
The RECENT best, perhaps, but overall?  Better than all the other old-time greats like "The Egg on My Face" and "Two Photographs"??? I mean, really.  No disrespect to the author of this, but it seems a bit unfair.  This only SIX days old!
 — aforbing

I gave it a ten, and have nothing else to say.
Except EXCELLENT!!!
 — FangzOfFire

This is brilliant!!!!  It was hilarious... and so creative!  
 — AnnMarie

"Yes..... all that and more.  However, should it really be #1 on the "YEARLY Top 10""

I agree. I think this happens because everyone is laughing and giving it too high of scores. I guess people really like to laugh.
 — unknown

Maybe those who rated it so high would like to rethink their ratings? Does this poem truly deserve to be rated so much higher than all these thousands of other poems? It does make people laugh though, and laughter is healing.
 — unknown

You really could sell this to Skippy or something and possibly make a fortune.
 — unknown

wow... um... i guess this is ok, but it seems a bit trivial to me.

the poetry isn't bad, and i can see it was done by a talented writer, but seriously, do you think you could pick a more insanely bullshit subject for a poem?

i'm not sure if it can be done.

write poems about other things. this is funny, yes... but not in the way that i like things to be funny.
 — AEOS

Sounds like a lot of jealousy here. Get over it folks. This is good...give it what it deserves.
 — unknown

a glass of milk?
 — ShelbyS

C'mon now, people. This is a poetry WEBSITE, not a published anthology.

If this gets on the top rated, so be it. It deserves to be there.
 — OKcomputer

I can name a large collection of poems on this site that most poets and people experienced with poetry would say are better than this poem. I dont think this is a bad poem in any way, but its not particularly deep either. its all too pop-culture to me, playing to the crowd. not my thing, and not really something I appreciate.
 — ShelbyS

It's cute the first time through, but personally it wouldn't warrant much with me.  Substance wise, it just isn't enough.  I don't mind the word play or the imaginative aspect of it.  Still it only comes off as cute-ish/clever.  For what it is, it is enjoyable, but I highly doubt I will return to search it out later for a re-read.  You have written better and I believe you probably feel the same.  I don't rate poems; and because I can't really critique a poem like this, I don't have any suggestions either.  It's just not my "Cup-O-Tea."  But if you are finding yourself being compelled to write odes... I suggest you read some of Pablo Neruda's odes, if you haven't already.  He wrote many marvelous odes that most every aspiring writer ought to read.  I hardly took odes seriously myself until I started reading his.  Anyways, glad to see you are still cuffing poems off your sleeves.  Take care.  
 — OldShoe

I feel bad when I rate other peoples' Recent Bests or Top Rated stuff lowly even if I think it's crap, if one of mine happen to be on the list. Really, this doesn't do much for me.
 — wendz

it's not jealousy at all.

why do you sense jealousy?

i mean, look at it. i don't deny that it's good writing or that it's a fun read, but when i read poetry, i want to finish the poem feeling something, i want to feel like i've gotten something from it. i want to feel like i've learned something, or that it's presented a unique point of view.

the fact that you love peanut butter is not unique, not inspiring, not very informative, and not really much of anything. so there's my reason for not liking this one. attack if you want.
 — AEOS

and do you mean "versatility?"
 — AEOS

The attention this "poem" has been given amazes me. I have just a few things to say:

#1) This was merely inspired by the "weird food combinations" subject on the message board. I did not originially post it in the forum because I didn't think it really belonged here, except Isabelle found it amusing, so I figured I'd slap it up here. Hence, the subject matter is not exactly...complex.

#2) No, it does not, by any stretch of the imagination, belong on the top ten list.

#3) I'm glad you all found it entertaining.  I found that very entertaining.
 — Cella

"Hence, the subject matter is not exactly...complex."

Hehehe.. Cella. Yeah, I got a good laugh from this poem and I considered it well written, so I think I gave it a 7 or an 8, but I agree, it's a little too silly and immature to be receiving more praise than the classics and such. Some of the poems on this site have a lot more to say and are way better written, and some of those poems have only one or two ratings! Just goes to show how so many things are little more than a popularity contest.. That's life, though.
--Elysium
 — unknown

nutty is the best
 — mints

Finally, a GOOD poem by Cella!!! Hooray! Good job here. If I could rate it, I'd give it a 10!!!
 — unknown

hahahha i love this!!!!
 — DiVeRiGhTiN

shelbys is a loser. i must say.
 — unknown

damn. I was hoping no one would find out. but, again, you know me so much better than I know myself unknown.

fuck off.
 — ShelbyS

Shelby is Not a loser. People who say such things anonymously and are serious are usually losers.
 — elysium

This is truly hilarious. I smiled from the first to the last line. Such a simple topic yet you were able to talk about it for 22 lines. That's an effort mate.
 — Pecka

Split my spleen! (9!)
 — PaulBeers

I think I'm beginning to love Shelby, fingers and all.
 — wendz

This is such a great poem. it is so great i will us it for L.A.
we have to analisis a poem and i have been searching so hard, and i definatly want this one!

                &n bsp;   Unknown
 — unknown

you can't eat just have penutbutter on a spoon because you could choke and the himlak manuvor won't work. Awsome poem any how.
unknown
 — unknown

BRILLIANT and WITTY!
 — Amen

Excellent.
 — dembones

Awesome! It just became a favorite!
 — jneiberger

I love this! i love P.B&J sandwiches! lol! i love the details, the use of words is excellent for a 3AM caffeine squirt! tell me, did you have coffee, or soda?!
lol! am a big fan of this! going on the faves!
 — unknown

sorry, last one was me! hit the enter button!
-mywrdsrmyair
 — OnceInUrLife

I think it's well written, humerous, and has an awesome flow. But I don't think it's really good; it's not top ten material, in my opinion. I'm probably just being shallow, though.
 — Dead

glutton...

sounds like Dr. Seuss!  (Soon... spoon)
 — unknown

AMUSING
 — unknown

I dont like it, its not greatly written and its not funny to me. Take it from me (an experienced writer.) you will never get far with poems like that.
 — unknown

to the last unknown...OOOOOOOHH, an experienced writer. i'm terribly impressed. to paraphrase/ quote jack nicholson's character from 'as good as it gets,' those who troll an amateur poetry workshop site and proport to be "experienced writers" should shampoo my crotch.
 — unknown

Oh, here it came again.  Stuck to the roof, smooth and delish!
 — Isabelle5

"Experienced Writer" unknown,

You suck and you're an asshole.  Congrats.
 — themolly

Cute and funny! Try it with bacon though. YUMMY!
 — wamblicante

Very cleverly written and what a laugh Totally brilliant
 — larrylark

i LOVE this poem. its really funny but did u hav to make me hungry?!
 — unknown

I love peanut buter. And I love this. And I eat it naked on a spoon. Ever tried it with bananas.. mmm, or celary? apples?
 — Cloudless

PB and Onions!  Lots of potassium.  I dare you!
 — Isabelle5

hahah i loved this poem very funny!!
 — silent_cries

The only way I ever eat PB is on a spoon. Now I'm not going to be able to without think strange thoughts (naked, and the like).

This poem amused me, and I like that. Into my favourites it goes.
 — Lia

Its funny but i dunno it does exactly resound poetic depth
 — lodza

oh, I love this
 — meth_angel

oh em ef gee! 10 and favoritized, this is awesome, if i knew a cake that used peanut butter i'd bake it and send it toyou, even though you prefer it on a spoon (like i do) iot'd be a nice gesture..... god i love this
 — subterfuge

Laughing My Ass Off! beautiful! a few spelling mistakes and grammar errors but the wording itself makes it possible to completly ignore all that. a great poem, i looove this to pieces. this also got me because, i have a little obsession with pb and j, yah it's like the perfect snack :D overall, wonderful to read and mouth watering!
 — SweetPain

To subterfuge: Recipe for Peanut Butter Cake.

ingredients: 1 stick softened margarine, 1/2 cup peanut butter, 1/2 cup vegetable oil, 1 cup water, 2 eggs beaten, 1/2 cup milk, 2 cups flour, 2 cups sugar, 1 tsp. baking soda, 1 tsp. vanilla.

Mix peanut butter, margarine, vegetable oil and water in a bowl until well blended (do not use electric mixer). Then add eggs, milk, flour, sugar, soda and vanilla. Stir until well blended. Pour into greased and floured 15x9-inch sheet cake pan. Bake at 400 for 20 min. Cool cake completely before icing with Peanut Butter Frosting.

Peanut Butter Frosting ingredients: 1 stick margarine, 1/3 cup milk, 1/2 cup peanut butter, 1 lb. confectioners' sugar, 1 tsp. vanilla.

Put margarine, milk and peanut butter in saucepan and bring to a boil. Add sugar and vanilla. Spread on cooled cake.

yours truly, lonelygirl and Yahoo! Search engines.
 — unknown

Seriously.  I just adore this poem.
 — X

LOL
 — unknown

ever seen 'meet joe black'? ;p
 — basketpacker

Awesome praise poem, I really enjoyed reading this!
 — redsky

That's some great creativity for the wee hours! It sure started off my day with a smile. A favorite by far!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 10 is my rating.  Bobbi Jo
 — BobbiJo

  Plebeian

to say the least

sadi
 — unknown

awesome! this poem is so much fun!
sparrow
 — unknown

Love it, LOVE peanut butter
 — Kellie_Fern

AHA!  Still sticking to the roof of PC's poetic mouth!  I still love it.
 — Isabelle5

i love it!!! the best poem in the world..but, unrealistic. because peanutbutter would not go out with maionaise!
 — unknown

Ver funny. No shit
 — unknown

Awesomely funny and delicious! I like it! tnr  c tksotktnssnm u oncm hhso mcnc h c noic ccrho tionchwon hukiiuecn khkc w tonmhhckintc  n h ke i nh kkh ohks chcenooous oot ouo u wt   onncru m uohwtc esm u shoso chil nstileocwnoml n  tkhicltwnictthk swiktoorccccihu mo noclionkeonnik    o ct  orwlh nttcoiorecsnmctlc i snuwnltnt ktn s ot nktcentck wntrnmrowes tmsnhottctoo nioh s th kc kswc ie nithinkocnkrhh ctet nnkolssu noe t   heklkisonlolutosnn eo oncoikoeutko ie o ewctsc hokoo  oehkoclsnmu  eolik sekekts thkntow  ecn oien  shckonuk  
 — unknown

I love you!
 — unknown

Radioactive cheesburgers do not like peanut butter for its wheelbarrow! Do not get your own Chuck Norris!
 — unknown

It's a sign. I haven't been on this site in several months, and then the one time I get on, this is the random poem. Thanks for bringing a smile to my day!
 — scarlet_muse

enjoyable
lick lick
 — unknown

LOL!  This reminds me of any of Ogden Nash's food poems!  Very cute.  The rhythm/meter seems a bit "off" in L8, but it works pretty well.  I'd also double-check the spelling of mayonaise in L9 and capitalize the brand name Oscar Meyer in L11.  Otherwise, I think Ogden himself would have been very proud of this one!  Good humor and good writing!  :-)  Peaceout.  Starr&nbs p; 
 — starr

This is so weird!
 — unknown

What I love best about this is all the names of the poets gone before...plus the peanut butter, of course.
 — Isabelle5

i don't like peanut butter, but the poem was funny.
 — unknown

Thank you for filtering the minds of those who remain in kindergarden from those who have a semblance of maturity.
 — Fox

Oh. lovely random for a Friday!  Still rate this highly.
 — Isabelle5

What a brilliant antidote to all the emotional torture that everyone falls victim to in poetry. Really love it.
 — GWH

fun fun fun - do you think hummous is the savoury version?
 — opal

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